What Improper Behaviors Should Parents Avoid in Raising Children?

What Improper Behaviors Should Parents Avoid in Raising children?

There are various manifestations of improper parenting, and here we introduce some of the more common and harmful ones:

(1) Autocratic Parenting Style: This type is often seen in parents with poor parenting skills who attempt to tightly control their children's behavior, attitude, and demand absolute obedience. In this parenting approach, it becomes difficult for parents to express genuine care and education towards their children, and the children have limited opportunities to voice their opinions, especially when their views differ from their parents. Studies in the United States have shown that children raised under autocratic parenting styles tend to have poorer psychological resilience and exhibit maladaptive behaviors, such as depression, anxiety, and poor social skills. Therefore, children need a certain degree of freedom to learn from their experiences in order to understand the concepts of right and wrong, self-worth, and gratitude for others' care and generosity.

(2) Lack of Behavioral Norms: This parenting method is less demanding on children, allowing them excessive freedom and not holding them accountable for inappropriate behavior. Parents using this approach may not set clear goals for their children's future, and they might not involve children in household chores. The parents' behavior may not serve as a positive example for their children, and they may lack authority in their children's eyes.

(3) Inappropriate Criticism: Some parents tend to yell and use harsh language when criticizing their children, expressing their anger with fiery words. Venting anger in this way can damage the parent-child relationship, with young children being frightened into submission, and older children potentially reacting with rebellion. Psychologists have found that using a low voice tone when criticizing children is more likely to be accepted by them. Low-tone education can maintain children's self-esteem and build strong confidence, resulting in better character development. Parents should maintain a low voice tone and adopt an objective and constructive attitude, explaining what is expected of their children, which can help prevent mistakes.

(4) Negative Reinforcement: Parents may be accustomed to using negative methods to raise their children, including expressing negative emotions towards their children and displaying rude behavior. If conflicts between parents and children continue to escalate, years later, children may exhibit anger and resistance towards their parents, and they may resort to aggressive behavior towards family members or others.

(5) Lack of Positive Encouragement: Parents should actively identify and praise their children's good behavior instead of solely focusing on their shortcomings and negative actions, constantly criticizing them. In general, praising and encouraging a child's positive behavior has a more positive impact than criticizing and blaming their negative behavior, leading to improved performance from the child. Appreciating a child's virtues is a form of giving, trust, and blessing, and it is a source of encouragement for the child to grow positively.

(6) Criticizing Children's Faults in Front of Others: As children reach a certain age, they become aware of their own faults and may feel ashamed of them. They may not want others to know about their shortcomings. If parents criticize their children's faults in front of others, it can hurt their self-esteem. On the other hand, praising children's virtues to others has a much greater impact than praising them directly, and when children hear their parents praising them in front of others, they are even happier.

(7) Abusive Parenting Methods: Parenting can be challenging and frustrating, and some parents may retreat when faced with difficulties, resorting to punishment or abuse of their children, including physically hitting or scolding them. For 2 to 3-year-old toddlers, who lack emotional control, outbursts of crying cannot easily be stopped through intimidation or scolding. If anger gets out of control and the child is hit severely, it can cause physical and emotional harm. If left unattended, older children may run away from home, resulting in serious consequences.